Coming to an end.

" When you are down to nothing, God is up to something."

So, now that Thanksgiving break is winding down and almost over I have 3 days left in the classroom with my precious 4th graders. Though I'm excited to be done and ready to graduated I can't help but be a little heart broken at the thought of leaving these kids. I have made such amazing friendships with those guys and I'm gonna miss them so much but the bright side is that it looks like I may be getting hired on for the months of January and February to help the 4th grade team with TAKS writing, so that's exciting!

Lately the feeling of graduation has been extremely overwhelming. The thought of this chapter in my life coming to end is exciting but so scary. This is all I have known for so long. I committed myself 110% into getting through school and I have been so focused on finishing that now that I'm here at the end it's terrifying to know that it's over. There are so many BIG decisions coming up in my life, from jobs to family life to my place of living. Decisions that impact the next few years of your life and I desperately just want to make the right decision. Unfortunately for me I never know which is the right decision until I have made all the wrong ones and at this point in my life I can't afford any more of those. I know God has it planned out for me and I am so thankful that he does because if I had to decide on my own, I'd be in a world of trouble. I just have to wait it out, right? Just worry about finishing school and face whatever comes next when it finally comes. Easier said then done for a control freak like me.

So, this past week...

This past Thursday was Bryan and I's 2 year anniversary! WOW, 2 years already? I still remember the first time I met him in our biology class, I didn't know his name for 2 weeks and only called him "football boy". That's the way I'll always remember him, my football boy. I'm so lucky to have him in my life, he really is the most amazing man I have ever met and I can't wait to keep count of all of our anniversaries to come. 

This past Friday was my precious niece's 6 month birthday. HOLY MOLY my best friend is growing up. She's my favorite part of my day and I love her more than words. She is absolute perfection! My sister and brother in law are amazing parents and seem like seasoned pros more than first time parents. I can't wait to see all the new things Malaya will be getting into!

"That's the way I'll always remember him, my football boy."

"She is absolute perfection!"

Ps. 34 days till Graduation

Finding my nitch.

 " It takes faith to believe that if God says no to a dream, it means he's up to something with his glory written all over it."


I remember the day I graduated high school, I felt as if I had finally broken free and I was going to do anything and everything to accomplish my life long dream of becoming a well known dancer. That was it. There was nothing else I wanted to do. School was a task, a task that only stood in my way for many years. A few weeks after graduation I tried out for a hip hop dance team called Wyld Styl, they were searching for a new member to add to the team in order to be able to attend a prestigious competition in L.A. By the grace of God I was chosen and I begin to work towards my life long goal. Along the way I met some amazing dancers, I mean, these people were incredibly talented, talent that I just knew would take them far in life. I can say that once upon a time I danced along side some of the most gifted dancers, and once upon a time I got the chance to call them my friends. But along the way I began to lose myself. I dyed my hair, I dressed the part and I did nothing... absolutely nothing but eat, sleep and dance. My relationships with my family and friends previous to dancing took a turn for the worst and I lost a lot of good friends. I was in a relationship that was unfair to me and to him, I was trying to be somebody who fit the part but never belonged there in the first place. I remember specifically the day my mom held my face in between her two hands and cried, all she could say was " What happen to her? What happen to my baby that I raised for 18 years?"I realized then that MY goal, MY dream, MY wants had ruined so many other things in my life. I attempted to fix things and through previous experiences in my life I knew the only way to fix it was to make a clean break and let things mend over time. So that is exactly what I did.  I moved out of my apartment, i said goodbye to the life that I was trying to live. So there I was, starting out at ground zero. I cried myself to sleep majority of the nights and I wandered lost through out most of the days. All I had was my family, my friends who I still to this day don't think I deserve after abandoning them and school. Through out my time at Cy-fair community college I took the basic classes needed for any degree but still lost as to what I wanted to do with my life; I didn't think I would be anything besides a dancer. This is where Katelyn and Layne Weber came into my life. I took a nanny position to two children, one in elementary and one in Jr. high; this seemed like no big deal because every job I have ever had, had something to do with kids. Being able to be apart of their lives on a daily basis impacted me. I formed unbelievably relationships with them and to this day I still think of them as my little sister and my little brother. Then it hit me. My love for kids, my nitch in life. I have no idea why it took me so long to realize that any job I have ever enjoyed involved children. My family had told me for so long that I should be a teacher, that I was great with kids and that it was what I was meant to do but not until I made that realization for myself did I ever feel the need to pursue it. So that's what I did, I got my grades up, transferred to a school that was and still is extremely well know for their education department and I worked day in and day out to catch up and make up for lost time. Teaching is a profession unlike any other and I now, can't imagine doing anything else. Nothing compares to being that someone for a kid, being that person that they are excited to see everyday. So many kids deserve someone to love them, someone who sees the best in them and someone who WANTS to be there for them. All my trials and tribulation means so much to me now, at one point I couldn't understand why God was putting me through all the pain but now I see it was to make the journey worth it. God put me through a test that made me realize that what I thought I wanted wasn't what would make me happy. He said no to a dream and I could have stopped there but I kept pushing, and in that journey he gave a bigger dream, a dream that would not only fulfill my needs but a dream that allowed me to help children. So here I am, I feel like my life has come full circle. 

"I was trying to be somebody who fit the part but never belonged there in the first place."

"Then it hit me. My love for kids, my nitch in life."

countdown to graduation: T- minus 44 days :)